My Breast-feeding Best Buys

I breastfed my little girl exclusively for nearly 3 months before she developed an appetite with which I just couldn't keep up. I am still breastfeeding partially and intend to do so for as long as she needs me, or as long as my body lets me; even when I return to work in the new year.

I've been planning a 'top 10 baby buys' blog over the weekend and I discovered that most of my recommended items were actually to do with breastfeeding so I thought I would do a separate blog, just for breast-feeding items.

Before I gave birth, I hadn't given much thought to breastfeeding paraphenalia - you've got your boobs, what else could you possibly need? Now I've done it once, I think there are a number of things that next time, I will make sure I have purchased BEFORE the birth! Here goes:-

1. Milk Saver
   
   
   This is my number one breastfeeding buy and I bet you've never heard of it! I reviewed it for the Mother & Baby awards and I honestly don't know how I coped without it! I certainly wish that I had owned one of these during the first few weeks after the birth when the milk first came in.
   
   
   The Milk Saver by Milkies is a silicone shell that you place over your breast while you are nursing from the other breast. It catches the leaking milk so that you can store it for use at another time. I found that between my night feed and the first feed of the morning I could collect around 70ml of milk without even trying! Admittedly it is the watery stuff; but I could then add that to the milk that I was able to express at other times of the day.
   
   
   Even once my milk supply had started to dwindle, I would use my milk saver during feeds to ensure that my free breast didn't leak all over my clothes, or waste another breast pad. I had found during the early days that I would use a whole disposable breast pad (I tried re-usables, I didn't get on with them; they didn't get on with me) during the late night and early morning feeds and it seemed like such a waste. The Milk Saver put an end to that.
2. Lansinoh Lanolin
   
   
   
   This was the number one recommendation to me by my sister-in-laws and I'm passing on that recommendation. A tube of Lansinoh's Lanolin is a must-have while you are getting into the swing of things, breast-feeding wise. I have tried a different brand of nipple cream which smelled nicer, was less susceptible to temperature differences (pure lanolin is sloppy when its hot and can be rock-solid when its cold!), and claimed to work wonders but it simply didn't help the cracked nipples. Using lanolin, my problems cleared up within a matter of days. Lansinoh's Lanolin recently won 'Best Product for Breastfeeding' at the Mother & Baby awards.
3. Quality Nursing Bra(s)
   
   
   I bought a couple of cheap nursing bras from a big high-street chain just before Lara was born. I had been too huuuge at that time to be bothered to search any harder. Within a week of the birth, my boobs were the size of watermelons and although the bras claimed they could accommodate me, they had lost any sort of shape or support that they had originally offered and I no longer felt confident wearing them.
   
   
   I think you need at least 4 nursing bras that you are comfortable wearing, comfortable using and which make you feel great. If you have enough that you aren't stressed if your boobs leak on one of them, then you can relax a bit more when you are nursing.
   
   
   I have recently tried the Cantaloop nursing bras. They are made of an incredibly comfortable fabric, provide amazing support and you'd barely know you were wearing it. I also love my Emily under-wired nursing bra because it's about as sexy as you can pull-off confidently when breastfeeding!
4. Electric Breast Pump
   
   
   
   I managed to lay my hands on a manual breast pump before Lara was born. At 4 weeks, after breastfeeding was fully established, I tried it out and discovered that (a) I needed more energy, and more hours in the day if I was going to express anything like enough milk and (b) I needed a third hand to be able to hold the pump, operate the pump and look after Lara at the same time.
   
   
   I reviewed three different electric pumps for the Mother & Baby awards and all three of them worked soooooooo much better than the manual pump which was very quickly discarded! My favourite electric breast bump turned out to be the miPump by Learning Curve, The First Years. It is incredibly simple to use at home, or on the move and is comfy, flexible and efficient. You can buy the miPump from amazon, currently for around £47 which I think is a bargain.
5. Microwave Steriliser Bags
   
   
   
   I have used Lindam's ones; they take up much less space than an electric steamer or a full-sized microwave steriliser and if all you need it for is the occasional storage bottle or an emergency bottle, then they are great to tuck away in the cupboard. They also are a godsend when travelling.
6. Support Pillow
   
   
   I bought one of these at the baby show but it didn't (and still doesn't) fit round my middle! I only found this out once I had brought Lara back from hospital. Thankfully I was sent a Floppeze to test which is a better fit, more comfy and soft, and is now serving as a cushion for when Lara topples over from a sitting position. If you buy one, make sure it fits around you before you need to use it in anger!
7. PLENTY of Nursing Tops
   
   
   I don't know why it never crossed my mind to buy these before the birth! I know now that you basically need a whole wardrobe of them. The comfier the better. If you can buy some nursing tops in which you feel comfortable and confident, and which have sensible, easy access then realistically there is little need for you to purchase a breastfeeding shawl or sling. My most-worn nursing tops are all by Boob Design who you can buy from the NCT shop or a number of online maternity suppliers.
8. Formula Cartons & Pre-Sterilised Bottles
   
   
   OK, so you're thinking, what is formula milk doing on a list of breastfeeding best buys? Well, my Mum warned me that I should always have some formula in the house for use during emergencies... those days when you may be too ill to feed, too tired and you need Dad, Grandma or a friend to take over, or when you physically can't breastfeed due to sore or cracked nipples. At the time, I bought a huuuuuge tub of formula which we used once, and then we had to throw it away as we didn't need it again for months. I replaced it with a couple of the pre-mixed formula cartons and a pre-sterilised, sealed bottle from Boots.
   
   
   Just the comfort of knowing that you have the emergency back-up with you is enough to justify the existence of this item on the list! Perhaps you'll never use it but you'll be glad it was there just in case. Take it out and about with you and you'll know that if you really can't find somewhere hygienic and accommodating to breastfeed, that you've got a bottle you could fall back on if you need it.

Would you take your baby to a gig?

Last night I went to an Eddie Izzard gig in Brighton. We dropped the munchkin off with her Grandparents and drove down; had a great meal, several drinks, watched a gig and then stayed the night with friends. It was the first time that we had left our little girl for an entire night and although there was this small niggling worry about the fact that it would be the first time ever that she had woken up in the morning without immediately being offered boob... but I'm generally very mellow about leaving her with other people, and as a result, she is very mellow about being left!

In the theatre, waiting for the show to start, there appeared on the big screen a close up of a baby. Sure enough, sitting a few rows from the front, there was a couple with a baby who must have been pretty much the same age as Lara, no more than 6 months old.

Annoyingly, I then spent most of the show wondering whether or not I should have bought Lara along with me. Am I a bad mum for abandoning her for the evening? Or is it cool that I can still go out with my hubbie, and my friends and enjoy being a grown up? Did the other couple feel strongly that their lives should go on unchanged with their little one joining in with everything they do? Was it because the Mum wanted to breastfeed, if so, could she not express and leave her little one with a babysitter? What did the people sitting in the seats around them think? What would happen if the baby started screaming? Would the parents really get to enjoy the show? Or would they be worrying about the baby? Would the noises be too loud for the baby? Are you really allowed to bring a child into a comedy gig? Would the baby be able to fall asleep with so much going on around them? Does a baby that young really appreciate Eddie Izzard's type of humour? So many questions..!

Anyway, the Dad had to leave the show about 20 minutes before the end, presumably because baby was getting irritable. After that, I chilled out and enjoyed a few more drinks. In the morning we rushed home to see the lovely munchkin. She hadn't missed us one bit! I'm glad I didn't take her along...it wouldn't have been the same at all.

Would you take your baby to a gig?

My Childcare Conundrum - How I Chose a Childminder (or two)

I return to work from maternity leave in six weeks time. I can't believe how quickly the last five months have disappeared. Back in June, when I left work, it seemed like a lifetime away but all too soon I had to start looking for childcare, ready for my return to work in the new year. As the name of my blog suggests, I'm pretty calm when it comes to being a mummy, but I can honestly say that the search for childcare for my little girl has been the most stressful part of motherhood so far – there have been late nights, tears and tantrums. But now, thankfully, I think I have finally found a placement with two childminders, an arrangement that really works for me and for my daughter.

I guess it doesn't help that the hubbie and I completely changed our minds about what type of childcare we were looking for. We had always thought that we wanted to send our little girl to nursery from 7 months because she'd benefit from being around other babies and for having some structure to her day. We visited 5 nurseries which I had chose from the OFSTED website (http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/oxcare_providers/list) based on location and on their latest OFSTED reports. None of them wowed us. They were fine, nothing more, nothing less and I failed to get excited about them. Back in July/August we put our names down on two waiting lists and sat back to do just that.... wait.

During the summer, my path crossed that of a local childminder (I happened to offer her some stuff to through Freegle); she was a lovely woman with an OFSTED grade of 'outstanding' who, despite not having any vacancies, invited me round for a cuppa to tell me all about the benefits of using a childminder. In that one afternoon, I was a convert. I felt I could have left Lara with her there and then!

In October, I started trying to find a childminder of a similar calibre to the first lady I had met. Its hard to find out a childminder's current OFSTED grading without first contacting them. Childminders aren't listed by name on the OFSTED website, only by their registration number. The information that each childminder publishes about themselves in the material that local councils or vacancy websites provide is often vague and rarely includes their OFSTED number. For me, I decided the best approach was to contact them, decide whether I liked them, and then to go back and find out whether OFSTED agreed. Most of the women I met were graded 'good'. Not surprisingly, the 'outstanding' childminders rarely have vacancies... and when they do, they go extremely quickly.

I suspect I had been a little bit spoiled by meeting such a well-respected, accomplished childminder at the beginning of my journey because many of the childminders I have since been on to meet have been so far away from my ideal that it gives me the shivers just thinking about it...

• … the geezer mum whose teenage daughter and granddaughter lounged on the sofa all day with the kids in front of TV (I didn't spot a single book in the house).


• … the woman in the hand-knitted cardi and crimpline trousers, sent from GOD who expressed no interest in my daughter, and seemed more interested in reminding me how unfortunate she was to be a single mum.


• … the desperate woman whose house was a building site (and it didn't look like the DIY would be complete any time soon) who had a huuuuuge dog who was able to jump as high as me!


• … the ancient woman whose house was packed full of delicate ornaments, was heated to at least 40 degrees centigrade and into whose living room was squeezed the largest TV I've ever set eyes on (actually, that's probably what was heating the house up, come to think of it).

In total, I contacted 41 different childminders in two different regions (close to work vs. close to home). I visited 10 of them. After eliminating all of the women who couldn't do the days or hours I needed, and rejecting any who were clearly round the bend; I finally found the woman I KNEW deep down was right for my little girl. I think you just KNOW the minute you meet someone, or step into a premises, be it a nursery or someone else's house, that this is it... the one you've been looking for.

The childminder I chose, couldn't work on a Friday. It was regrettable, but I figured that if I had found the right person, then I could explore other options for that one day a week even though I really really didn't want to get involved with the complications of family members babysitting. I still had one lady to visit so didn't sign on the dotted line there and then (although from previous experiences where I had got home from a visit to find an email saying the place had now been taken, I had been sorely tempted). That weekend I received a panicked call from the childminder saying she didn't think she could take the job; that she was struggling with the school run and didn't think that she'd be able to cope with a small baby in tow. I was gutted. I got very emotional. Then I chilled out; after all, there's no point in sending your child to a minder who can't keep them safe 100% of the time, or who can't offer them all the attention they need.

Co-incidentally, the same day, I was offered a place at one of the two nurseries I had signed up to way back in the summer. The place they offered me was for the wrong days of the week and they seemed a bit taken aback when I turned them down, saying I couldn't and wouldn't change the one day of the week that I take off work. Bonkers.

By this point I was getting a bit desperate. Thoughts did cross my mind about postponing my return to work. I stuck it out though and visited the last childminder on my list - she was also lovely, but also couldn't work all of the days that I needed. She proposed a job share... and do you know who she suggested she could do it with? Yup, the lady I had previously set my heart on. The two ladies live very close and had been chatting at the school gates. Between them they worked out that they could provide me all the days I was looking for and that at two days per week each, neither of them would get too stressed with having to handle a small baby as well as their other children.

So that's it, I've got an arrangement for the new year which works out wonderfully. My little girl will spend two days a week with two different childminders from two very different backgrounds; she'll get to mix with two different families, two different groups of children, two different approaches to childminding. And the best thing (and I know this sounds silly of me) - neither childminder gets to spend more days of the week with my little girl than I do! Genius.

The lessons I've learned on my travels? Start early, explore all your options, choose what's right for you, and keep at it – something will come along eventually. Also, don't be distracted by the OFSTED ratings, they aren't always up to date and can't give you a good idea of whether the childminder or nursery is right for you – nothing can compare to meeting a person face-to-face. I've checked both of my ladies out since signing my contracts just to make sure that OFSTED generally agree with my judgement, and I'm happy that there are no niggly things they noticed that I didn't pick up on. I'll update you in the new year with how things go.

If you're on the hunt for childcare yourself, the best place to start is your local authority childrens information centre who should be able to provide you with a list of child carers who may or may not have vacancies. You can also try http://www.findababysitter.com/ or http://www.childcare.co.uk/ .