Mellow Mummy: The Back-to-Work Jitters : Taking life as it comes...

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

The Back-to-Work Jitters

I'm getting the back to work jitters. Maternity leave is coming to an end sooner than I want to admit. SIGH.

I have already notified work that I intend to return to work in January after just 8 months of my maternity leave and with every day that passes I am becoming more and more aware that January is just around the corner. The days are slipping away faster and faster. Before I know it, Holly will be in nursery 4 days a week and I will be back to the grindstone. ANOTHER SIGH.

The cash flow is running dry and without some major life changes, I don't have much choice but to return to work in the New Year. I loved my job. I guess I still do. I have been "keeping in touch" with my team and my manager and regularly refreshing my skills (which is vital in the fast-moving world of technology) but it is hard to get enthusiastic about work right now.

Every day I look at Holly and it does make me question whether going back to work is the right decision. I love her to bits and each time I go through this mental turmoil a tear nearly makes it to my eye. I give her a big kiss on the top of her head and remind myself that I went through exactly the same feelings with my now 3-and-a-half-year-old girl. I remind myself that actually, once I was back at work, it didn't feel weird at all and that my daughters will get opportunities for fun, learning and social skills that I could (or is that would?) never offer them as a SAHM.

So now I am cramming in as many activities as possible into my last couple of months of maternity leave. Baby yoga, baby music lessons, coffee mornings, walks in the park, messy play, cookery and fun days out with both of my girls to make the most of our days together. Maternity leave is certainly a very different way of life to my "normal" working days.

But, as we enjoy each day I can't help feeling that there is a great big ticking clock lurking behind me counting down to my return to work after maternity leave. GREAT BIG SIGH.
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